“Fear” 2009 by Megan Collins Sold.

This is a painting that I did to represent fear. “She sits there, alone and unprotected in a dark place, frozen in fear, surrounded by nameless, faceless demons that don’t exist. The path is there if she can only open her eyes to see it…”

It is all about the fear.  This is the headline.  I want to write it on the walls in neon paint.  Everything you aren’t doing that you think you should is about the fear.  It isn’t REAL.  Okay, I know I need to repeat this because you didn’t hear it the first time.  The Fear Is NOT Real.  It’s all in your head.  If you had a fear of jumping off a high bridge into a raging river, that’s a reasonable fear.  If you have a fear of making a phone call, that’s the kind of fear I’m talking about.  This fear is something we learned, from our families, our school experience, our friends or unintentional mentors. 

• Be careful. 
• Don’t take too many chances. 
• You know if something good happens, something bad has to happen to balance it out. 
• Things are going too well. 
• I know this is too good to be true.

Do any of these sound familiar?  They are based around false fear.

Now it’s time to get down to work.  The next three months are about exercising the skills you have already learned and taking action and planning where you want to go.  Now it is time to recognize where you are being stopped, either by someone else, or yourself.

Look at your to do list.  If you’re like me you have lots of them.  You can go back through your lists and identify a group of items that never seem to get done.  The things that make you uncomfortable.  The things that put you out there in front of other people.  You need to be looking at these items from where you are now instead of where you started.  You are a different person now.

This is about fear and power.  Are you willing to take back your power and show fear the door?  No, it never really goes away.  However, it doesn’t need to be your deciding factor on a day in and day out basis. What would your life be like if you made the decisions in your life instead?  What if you looked at the fear, named it, watched it dissolve in front of your eyes, and did it anyway?  How much more powerful would you feel and be? What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

I’m in the process of setting art goals for the upcoming year.  I wanted to put together an outline for the upcoming year. I hit a wall. 

What if I can’t accomplish everything I set out to do?

What if I don’t have the time?

What if it isn’t what I want to do?

What if I fail?

What if I succeed?

What if I’m not good enough?

What if it’s too much for me to handle?

It’s too complicated.

Today I’m writing down these excuses and questions. I was frozen, stuck, hesitant.  I told myself I didn’t know how.  I told myself that it wasn’t my job, it was Scott’s job to tell me what to do.  Abigail pulled out every trick in the book and stopped me in my tracks. (Abigail is my negative alter-ego.)

Recently, I was once again listening to Gay Hendrick’s book about worry thoughts, and I realized it is all about fear.  Worry thoughts are nothing but fear.   One of my friends says that they shows fear the door all the time.  They are so busy they don’t have time for it.

So… for the rest of this month, my job is to identify worry thoughts, stoppers, fear thoughts, and how they are preventing me from being in my zone of genius.  Once I identify them, I want to take steps to neutralize them and move forward.

This week I am getting my goals down on paper for the upcoming year.  Everything is fluid.  I’ll put down this show or that, and without the information I need, I may need to change to another show once I know what the subject matter is.  The key is I’m putting it out there that I am looking for this stuff.  Once I do that, it will show up for me.  That is the nature of the zone of genius, and that is the nature of trusting the process. That is the nature of opening your eyes and seeing the opportunities that are really there instead of focusing on the fears that paralyze you.

For information on this topic, you could consider reading Gay Hendrick’s “The Big Leap.” I’ve read this book many times, and listened to it as well. I continue to find nuggets of wisdom with each pass. It’s a read well worth your time.